When Love and Pressure Collides. How to Care for a Child’s Mental Well-Being?

Every parent wants the best for their child. But in today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world, the line between support and pressure can easily blur. Many children grow up under intense expectations—to excel in school, to meet high standards, to succeed without showing struggle.

When children feel they can’t speak up, and when emotional health is overlooked, the consequences can be devastating. As such, this can be reflected in the recent events that took place in the nation. A wake-up call to the extremes that can occur:

On June 11, 2025, a tragedy in Bukit Rambai, Melaka shook the nation. A 17-year-old boy has allegedly stabbed his mother and brother to death. Reports suggested long-term academic pressure and emotional distress that went unnoticed, and the boy had been suffering in silence for years.

This indicated a home environment centred around performance and pressure. And while no single factor explains such a violent act, it compels us to ask:

• How many more children feel unseen and unheard?
• How many parents are unaware of their child’s emotional breaking point?

This is not just about one family—it’s about all of us.

This article explores how such situations develop, why emotional well-being matters just as much as academic success, and what parents, schools, and society can do to prevent similar tragedies.

Why It Happens: Roots of the Pressure Phenomenon

1. Cultural Emphasis on Success & “Tiger Parenting”

In many Asian societies, including Malaysia, academic achievement is seen as the main path to social mobility. “Tiger parenting” is term for parents emphasising excellence and competitiveness, can drive children toward exceptional results but often induces anxiety, depression, and internalised stress.

2. The Hurried Childhood

Over-scheduling children with enrichment classes and performance-based activities can cause chronic stress. It is warned that children under constant performance pressure often suffer from emotional strain, anxiety, and loss of intrinsic motivation.

3. Parents Under Pressure too

Many parents today juggle work, financial stress, and the societal burden of being “perfect parents.” A research has found out that parents experienced parental burnout especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. This emotional exhaustion often leads to emotional unavailability for children. As parents thrive to achieve the perfect livelihood, they ended up being stressed up and doubtful of their parenting abilities. This resulted in guilt and strained relationships with their children.

4. Emotional Silence at Home

Nowadays, there is a large amount of youth having issues with their mental health. It is also due to the cause that adolescents felt uncomfortable sharing emotional issues with family members. This silence can cause emotional bottlenecks that lead to crisis situations.

Towards Healing: What Can Families Do?

1. Redefine Success

Success should be more than just grades on a report card or trophies on a shelf. When children grow up believing their value depends only on achievements, they may carry heavy burdens of anxiety and self-doubt. But when parents celebrate kindness, effort, and empathy just as much—or even more—than academic results, they help children grow into confident, grounded, and emotionally healthy individuals. At the heart of it, parenting is about raising good-hearted, resilient human beings.

2. Build Emotional Vocabulary

Helping children put their feelings into words is one of the most powerful gifts we can give them. When kids learn to understand and express their emotions, they become better at handling challenges, building friendships, and thriving both in school and in life. Emotional literacy isn’t just about talking—it’s about helping children feel seen, heard, and supported. And in a world that can be overwhelming, that kind of understanding becomes their inner anchor.

3. Create Safe Spaces

Children flourish in homes where they feel safe—not just physically, but emotionally too. According to an article in Kiddy123, theAsianparent Malaysia highlights the importance of choosing connection over control. Rather than resorting to harsh discipline, parents are highly encouraged to guide with empathy, listen with patience, and respond with understanding. When children know they can make mistakes without fear, they grow up feeling secure, confident, and deeply loved.

4. Watch for Red Flags

Sometimes, the signs of a child’s inner struggles are quiet—a change in sleep patterns, sudden clinginess, or a loss of interest in things they once loved. Parents must always be mindful to these subtle shifts. Early emotional distress often shows up in ways that are easy to overlook, especially in young children. By staying attuned and seeking support early, parents can step in before small worries grow into deeper emotional challenges.

What Can Schools and Society Do?

1. Prioritise Emotional Education

Academic success is important—but so is helping children understand their feelings, manage emotions, and build healthy relationships. Social-emotional learning (SEL) gives children the tools to navigate life with confidence and compassion. When schools weave emotional education into the daily routine, children not only perform better in class but also grow into kinder, more resilient individuals—ready to thrive both in school and beyond

2. Support the Well-being of Educators

Whenteachers feel supported, calm, and emotionally balanced, they’re better able to care for the children in their classrooms. Through practices like mindfulness and self-care, educators can create more nurturing, emotionally safe learning environments. After all, a teacher’s well-being has a direct impact on how deeply they can connect with and support their students.

3. Community Support Systems

Strong communities play a vital role in nurturing emotionally healthy families. When parents have access to support networks—like parenting workshops, sharing circles, or local mental health resources—they gain more than just advice; they gain reassurance, perspective, and a sense of belonging. These connections help break the silence around emotional struggles, offering families the strength to grow together. A community that listens, supports, and uplifts can be the safety net every parent and child needs.

Government Contribution Matters

1. Improve Access to Mental Health Services

Mental health support should be as accessible and normalised as a visit to the school nurse. By integrating mental health services into schools and community centres, children and families can get the help they need early—before struggles grow into crises. Making these services visible, approachable, and easy to access ensures that emotional well-being becomes a natural part of everyday care, not a last resort.

2. Campaigns and Education

Thoughtful awareness campaigns and open conversations can help break the stigma around mental health, making it easier for children, parents, and teachers to seek support without fear or shame. When we speak openly about emotions and healing, we create a culture that embraces vulnerability, values empathy, and reminds everyone that it’s okay to ask for help.

3. Reform Exam Culture

Exams have long been one of the biggest sources of stress for students. The pressure to perform well can overshadow the joy of learning and leave children feeling anxious. While recent efforts like holistic assessments under Kurikulum Standard Sekolah Rendah (KSSR) and School-Based Assessment PBS are a step forward, there’s still more work to do. It’s time to shift away from a one-size-fits-all, high-stakes exam mindset and embrace a broader view of success—one that values creativity, effort, emotional growth, and different learning styles.

Rebuilding with Love and Presence

Every child deserves to feel safe, valued, and emotionally supported. And every parent, no matter how imperfect, has the power to nurture a home where love is louder than pressure.

The Melaka tragedy reminds us not just of what can go wrong, but of how much we can still make right. Let this be the moment we slow down, reach out, and reimagine what it means to raise a child.

Let us choose connection over control. Let us choose empathy over expectation. Let us choose love—clear, honest, and consistent love.

For in the end, it’s not the medals or the marks that will matter most. It’s whether our children remember childhood as a place of warmth, of belonging, and of being loved for exactly who they are.