To be fearful of things and events are normal for everyone. There is no definite distinct lines what a boy or girl should be or do, including how they should react to uncomfortable things. If the child is still young, it is great parenting to try to expose the child to different objects and events. Stretching their boundaries in areas where they dislike and unable to participate should be always be elicited through these simple strategies.

1. Always get consent – Seeking their participation require consent from the child, even for younger children. Getting them to agree to try or partially participate builds self-awareness and confidence. Often parents forget that children may not know why they have to do certain things, thus do not ask why their children do not want to participate. Get consent and if the child resist, listen to their reasons first. It may not be as bad as not doing those things that you like. Every child is different.

2. Always try only one new thing as a time – Do not over engage your child with too many things at one go. Always do one new thing at a time, often using the previous successful approach. For example, if you want your child to learn to be comfortable with touching an animal, starts by sharing interesting stories about that animal in a way that the child understands. You can show examples of how that animal will react before letting the child explore with a real one. Another example will be trying new food. Always try new food only when the child is comfortable with the place or way of eating.

3. Always be positive – Be positive if the child rejects because this is part of growing up. The ability to reject appropriately is a good sign that the child knows what he/she likes and wants. Parents can stretch their children boundaries by being positive in letting the child reject most of time, but get the child to agree some time. If the parents love outdoor activities and the child dislike them, encourage him/her to participate some of them because it is a family event and he/she is greatly appreciated for participation. Conversely, parents can in turn participate in what he/she likes and wants to build general agreements where the family togetherness is the purpose, not just the activities.

Home schooling can be defined as a mode of learning where the child learns in an alternative approach, usually at home by their parents. This model of learning can be linked back to selected groups where they have additional needs which cannot be fulfilled by institutional learning. In Malaysia, there are many different home-school approaches. There is no good or bad approach, just suitable or not for the child. How do we determine if home-schooling is a path parents should adopt for their children? Here are some basic rules;

1. What the goals for home-schooling your child?

Establish your goals and transition plan (what and where are you planning your child to achieve and transit to). Goals are important because they will establish the cornerstones for your child curriculum (curriculum – content of learning) and teaching strategies (teaching strategies – process of learning). These cornerstones will assist parents to decide and select what type of home-school program will be suitable for the child. There are many international home-school programs but parents must know that most of them are religious based thus suitability may be limited. However, these home-school programs often are delivered in subjects (topics) so parents can adapt them for their children. Some parents will self-construct their own curriculum with goals towards international examinations. Some of these examinations are International Cambridge or SAT/TOIEC/TOFEL.

2. How do you start?

Once goals and placement transitions are established, parents should explore the availability of curriculum that are available. Some of these are examinations-based like International Cambridge model where candidates sit for subject exams, while some are proficiency-based assessments like SAT. Look around if you are looking for centres that market themselves as home-school models. Strictly speaking, home-school is learning at home, facilitated by parents or other adults. However, some parents setting social interactions as part of their goals (see point 1) will source for centres that have other children. Parents can select centres that offer similar curriculum that allows their children to transit internationally. Other parents may organize their home-school by inviting other children to participate in social activities instead. Different strokes for Different Folks.

3. Who should do home-school?

Anyone who seeks for a different learning experience for their children and want to be an active participant in their children learning can starts home-schooling. Some parents who are jaded by existing schooling system may also starts home-schooling. Other than parents’ expectations, some children who learn differently (like gifted children and children with disabilities) are also home-schooled. Other issues that may influence parents to embark on home-schooling would be lack of suitable learning facilities, transportation difficulties and migration possibilities.

Sex education and Sexuality awareness are two different concepts. There is always going to be a debate on when and what should be covered. In my personal view, these are my pointers. 

Sex Education – This can start as young as the child knows the difference between boy and girl, man and women, friend and strangers. Usually we start from the physiological aspects before going into the psychological areas. When a child is aware of these differences, sex education will include differentiation of gender and gender parts. For example, parents can start to introduce differentiation of gender parts (male and female) and assist the child to distinguish them as private and confidential. For young children (in your case), their process of thinking is centered towards themselves thus they may not noticed that touching themselves is considered as inappropriate when others are around. We can also call this modesty. Based on the family values and beliefs, parents can start explaining and setting rules on such inappropriate behaviours when others are around. If the child is still unable to understand why he/she cannot touch herself or let other touch her, divert his/her attention from himself/herself towards other activities. Diversion is the key. You can also divert the child attention towards public awareness so that you can reinforce the concept of modesty.

Sexuality Awareness – This is (in my opinion) usually for older children and teens, where the concept of gender and sexual orientation become important topics for parents. If the child at a younger age has grasped the concept of physical differences between genders and know when to behave socially, sexuality awareness can starts. This area includes a lifelong process of acquiring information and forming attitudes, beliefs, and values about identity, relationships, and intimacy." These areas where parents commonly address are issues of personality, value formation, decision-making, peer and social pressures, affection, intimacy, body image, gender roles, communication strategies, and various sexual behaviors. The time for this will be later.